Tuesday, August 01, 2006

A Nation of Bill Oddie's

I think I have been living here long enough now (3 years, 5 months) to make some friendly but bewildered observations about the brits.

Odd things about the British (there are many, but they are subtle):

They pronounce yoghurt, "YOGG-it", as opposed to the Aussie "YO-gert".

Speaking of which, they haven't discovered the joys of frozen yoghurt over here.

They carpet their bathrooms.

Their roundabouts are painted on - so you can drive straight over them if you so wish (brilliant).

They are the worlds most patient people. Which is a good thing, because they have to be.

Garage is pronounced "GA-rudge".

They don't use curtains in their windows - and the windows are never more than a few metres from the footpath/road. The only concession to a bit of "PRIV-acy" is a small but dense hedge.

A new book will come out with one cover, then a few months later be re-released with a completely different cover. This cycle continues, I guess, until they hit a "peak" design which sells the most copies. Odd.

A UK postcode is specific to the actual road, so that all you need to address an envelope is the house number and postcode - eg. 89 N19 3BG.

"Ya alright?" is a common form of greeting, not an expression of concern.

The British are deeply sceptical about cars which are not made in the EU.

You can tell all about a British persons birthplace, family background, moral codes, dietary preferences, criminal intent and educational standard just by listening to their accent.

The British truly celebrate and venerate eccentricity. Have you ever wondered, why couldn't we just take an ice-cream cone - and motorise it? Because I know your wrist is tired from the strain of that constant turning. Well, whoa there buddy, because somebody already thought of it. And you guessed it, he was one of the inhabitants of this crazy island.

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