Online dating: The Dealbreaker Edition

– Have a kid from a one night stand several years ago? But it's 'OK because you never see him'?

– Still live at home or recently moved back in with your parents?

– Have to borrow money off me to take me out to dinner?

– Follow an obscure religion that allows you to eat chicken but not duck, because ducks 'have webbed feet'?

– An aspiring fantasy novelist?

– Ill-advised facial piercing/tattoo?

– Not a fan of punctuation? Or conventional spelling? Frequently confuse 'your' and 'you're'?
(a little grammar-nazi of me, I admit, but if you can't write at an 8th grade level, I cannot bring myself to respect you)

– Hungover every time I meet up with you, even on weekdays?

– Look like a gangster in your profile picture, complete with mutton-chop sideburns, shaved head and mirror sunglasses?

– Never returned the CDs that I lent you on our third date?*

Well those, my friend, are what we in the biz like to call DEALBREAKERS.

Good day sirs!



* still waiting.