Friday, June 18, 2010

6 ultra-basic beauty products (for lazy ex-tomboys who don't like spending money on beauty products)

Beauty products

If I had one bugbear about the practicalities of modern life (ooo, the list of things I could rant about!), it would be the utter bullsh*t that surrounds 99.99% of beauty industry marketing, most of which has been designed purely to make women feel unnattractive and inferior in order to con them into buying all manner of chemical gunks.

Because we're worth it! Right? Well, I don't buy it, and neither should any thinking woman. Here are some simple, low-hype products that actually do what they're supposed to. None of them will make you look 10 years younger, but Newsflash! Neither will that miracle cream you just spent your bonus on.

1. Blistex lip balm
Without it I wouldn't be able to smile all Winter, ie. 6 months of the year in the UK - which I think you will agree is a long time to look grumpy. All the other main brands of lip balm leave a greasy layer that comes staight off, without moisturising properly. Blixtex is King. About £2.

2. Vaseline hand & nail cream
When my nails started splitting and peeling a few months ago, I couldn't work out why they had suddenly turned so ratty.Then I remembered that I have been a little obsessed with nail polish since NY and cheap manicures came into my life. So I've ditched the polish (for now) and started using this, and they have improved 100%. Nice to see a product that actually does what it claims to. About £3.

3. Exfoliating gloves
My brother's girlfriend always has incredibly soft skin, and I noticed when I stayed at their flat in Gothemburg (STALKER ALERT, sorry Anny) that she uses exfoliating gloves with a moisturising body wash. I have never been a fan of "body wash", preferring good old fashioned austerity-style SOAP which does a perfectly good job thank you very much, none of your fancy pants, overly packaged modern rubbish here if you don't mind. I am prepared to admit here in the public blogosphere that I WAS WRONG. About £2.

4. Johnson's holiday skin
Gently tans pasty skin to a light glow, without being too streaky. Haven't needed it this Summer however due to the Barbados sunburn incident, which has since faded to a 'healthy' tan. About £5.

5. Neutrogena beauty bar
I have used loads of different facial cleansers in my time and recently rediscovered the simplicity of a block of transparent soap, at about 1/100th of the price of most fancy-pants cleansers. You're right Mr Kellogs, the simple things in life are often the best. About £2.

6. Facial oil
I use Neal's Yard orange blossom facial oil. At £20 a pop, it isn't cheap - but considering you only use 2 drops, literally, on your whole face, it is well worth it. A little vial lasts for ages, and it's almost 100% organic. And it smells wonderful.

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