Friday, June 22, 2007

On being female and 30

So, I turned thirty earlier this year. The media here is pretty much hysterical about "women in their thirties" (insert concerned but judgemental frown). Men won't date them - they're too desperate! In a panic about their shrivelling ovaries! Realising they can't have it all! Throwing themselves into work/the gym/binge-drinking!!

Personally, I am not that happy with the way things have turned out for me - but that's nobody's business or concern but my own. Society has changed massively since my parent's lifetime. The future seems uncertain but most certainly grim. Our society is in thrall of excessive consumerism and the pursuit of wealth, at the expense of individual and communal wellbeing. I do feel that, in this instance, ignorance would have been bliss (had I settled down in my mid-twenties, bought the house, had the kids, and stayed cocooned in the miniature inwards-looking world of the family).

Then again, maybe not. I have always been an obsessive worrier, since about the age of 4. Every childhood picture of me - every holiday snap, every school photo, every family portrait - shows a skinny little blond kid with crooked teeth, looking worried.

In fact, I looked pretty much like this girl:

Remember her?

Some days I wish I could turn my back on romance altogether and harden my heart, be that strong, independent girl I used to feel like sometimes, striding through the city Amazon-like (it matches my physique, anyway).

Brain, I am ordering you to override heart! Did you hear me, Brain? That's an ORDER!

* * *

Useless brain.


Anna said...

Love Mary Poppins, it's my favourite movie from when I was a kid.

On the rest of it -- I hear you. Oh my lord, how I hear you. I turned 28 nearly a week ago, and things are VERY different to how I'd always imagined they'd be. I try VERY hard not to let myself dwell on it, and to just deal with the life I've ended up with one day at a time.

susanna said...

"the future's uncertain but certainly grim" is from a song, but which song precisely eludes me now... help from the author? :)

i feel the same way, being in my early 30s too. i'm thoroughly sick of the assumptions and cliches - many of them perpetuated by 30 something women themselves (like the sex and the city women - they did nothing for us!)

melbourne dreaming said...

Arrgh! That bloody show. Talk about pandering to women's (many and varied) neuroses. I used to watch it, but I stopped because I found my heart rate would be way up afterwards!!

I am not aware of any song lyric, but it could be the case - I do love my music... let me know if you remember it.

Thanks for the comments, girls - it is some small relief to know I'm not alone! :)

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