Fantasy Dating: Nerds-Done-Good edition

I'm taking a little break from online dating. The endless cascade of rejections was getting a little disheartening. Seriously, how do people survive this?! You need the skin of a rhino to withstand it, I reckon. It's certainly not for "sensitive young weeds" like myself (and Stephen Fry).

Back to daydreaming, where the men are hot, available and infinitely variable.

Bring on the charming geek-fest!

It's probably best to take your glasses off, Mr. Tempah. You can leave the bow-tie on, though...

Moss from the IT Crowd: the ultimate tech-geek, complete with "reboot" chime.

Um, hello STEVE URKEL?!

Ditto Neville Longbottom.

I wasn't sure about Michael Cera at first - he seemed so weedy in Juno, and like an effeminate Jesse Eisenberg in everything else - but I watched Youth In Revolt last night and I found myself won over by yet another understated dork-at-peace-with-himself performance.

Online dating: The Dealbreaker Edition

– Have a kid from a one night stand several years ago? But it's 'OK because you never see him'?

– Still live at home or recently moved back in with your parents?

– Have to borrow money off me to take me out to dinner?

– Follow an obscure religion that allows you to eat chicken but not duck, because ducks 'have webbed feet'?

– An aspiring fantasy novelist?

– Ill-advised facial piercing/tattoo?

– Not a fan of punctuation? Or conventional spelling? Frequently confuse 'your' and 'you're'?
(a little grammar-nazi of me, I admit, but if you can't write at an 8th grade level, I cannot bring myself to respect you)

– Hungover every time I meet up with you, even on weekdays?

– Look like a gangster in your profile picture, complete with mutton-chop sideburns, shaved head and mirror sunglasses?

– Never returned the CDs that I lent you on our third date?*

Well those, my friend, are what we in the biz like to call DEALBREAKERS.

Good day sirs!



* still waiting.

Online Dating: The Stealth Version

The advice pretty much everyone gives me re: dating (those many happily settled friends of mine, that is) can be pretty much summed up as follows: "Forget online dating. Join a group." Hmm. I tend to bristle at this advice for several reasons:

1. The things I'm interested in doing in my spare time are inherently girly and do not tend to attract folks of the manly persuasion (baking, cycling my vintage pashley in a skirt, crochet, watercolours, zumba, reading, yoga). I know girls who have taken up rock-climbing/football/beer-tasting for the sole purpose of meeting a husband; but I just can't bring myself to do it. It just seems too much like... faking it.

2. Groups scare me.

Well that's it, which really isn't much of an argument now that it's laid out in print.

But the truth is, I have quietly been getting out there and meeting people through various online forums since I've been back. Just dipping a toe, in typical 'fraidy-cat fashion, into the waters of Socialising With Strangers. Just every so often when I've got nothing better to do on a quiet weekend. I've been to a couple of arthouse movie meetups, a group bike ride to a gallery, and I'm off to a (women only) book group this weekend. It's a little strange, and I'm still getting over the awkwardness factor, but it's also kind of interesting. People are generally interesting, don't you think? Everyone has some kind of story.

I've found I've met more interesting girls than guys - I'm in that age bracket now where there's a surplus of amazing, accomplished girls and a dearth of comparable guys, sadly - but you never know, I guess. And if I only meet great girls via this particular avenue, I'm fine with that.

I'm sort of treating my life like a giant science experiment at the moment; meddling with the ingredients, recoiling from spillage, agitating the mix, and trying not to set anything on fire.