The Joy of Wordle

My most used words in 2010, presented for your visual pleasure by the rather fun Wordle.

I was having a conversation with some primary school teachers last weekend and I suggested that there are three streams that most people fit into from a young age: pictures, numbers and words (or, to really force those little tackers ever tighter into their respective pigeon-holes: graphic designers, accountants and journalists). I guess I am part word, part picture - which goes some way to explaining why I love these word cloud diagrams so much. That, and it really rams home the fact that "sugar" is my most frequently used word, followed closely by "cake". Hmm.

You know you're in your thirties when...

...the hotel staff wish you a Happy Mother's Day.

I mean, lady, I am well aware I've been steadily putting on weight for a while now (my mellow-making drugs and too damn many delicious cakes are the main culprits) - and yes, I am aware that a childless woman in her thirties is something of a bizarre curio in your family-centric culture - but really. For a minute there I was enjoying the novel sensation of actually filling out my unpadded bikini top, enough so that I could ignore the plumper new bits further south.

Isn't life just one big series of trade-offs for women? Skinny no-boobs or chubby McBooberson. Boring safe guy or dashing cad. Chocolate honey-comb or pink grapefruit (can't do both together! Or CAN you...). Faithful werewolf or moody vampire.

*sigh*

North London // South London

Boogaloo // Bugaboo
skinny jeans // rugby thighs
hi-top trainers // personal trainers
muggers // chuggers
hipsters // nippers
Tracey Emin quilts // Cath Kidston quilts
vintage // antiques
Pearly kings and queens // pearls and twinset
Cockney geezers // Wide boys
Camden goths // Croydon yobs

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Any contributions?

D:Reamy Prof Cox the Fox rox my world*

Has anyone managed to catch Wonders of the Solar System on BBC2? I can highly recommend it to anyone with a passing interest in astronomy; or those among us who are simply interested in staring at sweet boy-faced men eulogising about something (anything) that they are so excited about that their eyes get all shiny and a sort of glow comes off them.

I mean, I find contemplation of our amazingly complex little solar system and the universe beyond absolutely mind-bottling, but honestly - astronomy's association with ancient, incoherent men who can calculate the elliptical rotation patterns of distant moons but are unable to buy a pair of fitting trousers, heat up a tin of baked beans or replace a pair of spectacles that are clearly beyond repair has made it a no-go zone for many women. Science on that sort of mathematical/astro-physical level just isn't sexy.

Well, get ready to have your preconceptions slapped around the face and covered in glitter:



How d'ya like them space particles?!

Introducing Mr. Brian Cox, formerly of D:Ream (thiiings... can only get better) and latterly passionate crusader for science funding and visitor of schools (sigh!) to raise the profile of the least-cool subject on the curriculum.

Coming from this man, space is cool - literally and pop-culturally. He sprinkled his magic space dust on me and suddenly I am the proud possessor of information about the names of the moons of Jupiter (Io, Ganymede, Callisto and Europa, named for the lovers of the Greek god Zeus). The earth would fit inside Jupiter more than a thousand times. Something about volcanos. Shiny, shiny eyes.

*apologies for the tortured wordplay - I just couldn't resist.

Cut out and keep

For bored office workers everywhere.

Ammend as necessary. I know a certain boy for whom all six sides would read "tea".

Zese dreams are full of portent

We've come a long way, baby

I have already mentioned the truck driver who wound down his window to yell "LEGS" in my direction as I cycled to work recently. I only just thought of the appropriate response, which would have been "ARSE".

This morning, another truck driver shouted: "I finish up at 1!" (to which, I realise now, I should have suggested that he spend his afternoon at the zoo, where ogling is encouraged). But really, both blokes were rather polite in their approach, don't you think?

To top both of these Random Street Hollers, a friend reported a chav-tastic teen who called out "oy, luv!" to get her attention and then proceeded to tell her, "You look really nice today luv, and I 'ope you have a good day".

I'm pretty sure it wasn't like this in the Seventies. Thank goodness some things have changed, eh?